The Let Down

So today I am feeling the "let down".  After achieving a big goal like graduating from college, I have drifted into the "now what?" stage of goal achievement.  As I run into more people who congratulate me on my recent bachelor's degree, I have a strange emptiness, a hollowness to the responses I give to these well-wishers.

Having so much of my life filled with the homework, the anxiety over grades and the pressure of due dates, I am feeling a little lost in my free time.  I still have my kids, and my home and my husband to tend to, but the over arching pressure of school is gone, making me feel like a boat without a motor.

I know that in time the new routines will form, the new priorities of the job search and activities with the kids will renew that sense of purpose, but for now, I am just letting myself feel lost as I recover from achievement.

We don't often think or talk  about the "let down" phase of goal-setting, but it is real and it makes us evaluate ourselves in a broader scope.  "Was it worth it?" we ask.  "What do I do now?" and "Where should I be spending my time and energy?".   Transitioning from a big goal to the next can be frightening.  We all know a disappointing circumstance, like a death, losing a job, or financial loss, requires a big adjustment in our thought and emotional life.   But success in reaching a big goal requires an adjustment as well.  Coping with success can be difficult too.

What has helped me so far in dealing with this transition is to be with and talk with family and friends who can help me stay aware of who I am and point me to the reasons I went back to college in the first place.

I have also been helped by meditating on scripture--which remains poignant and stabilizing whether I am successful or in dire straights.   One new favorite I am committing to memory--Gal. 2:20-I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me and the life I live in the flesh I live in faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.

This verse sums up the ultimate goal--to live in Christ, whether I am charging up a mountain of a goal, or sliding down the other side.