Monday, December 29, 2014
The End of the Trucker's Wife
I should have updated a while ago, but I am ending this blog--for good reason! I am no longer a trucker's wife! No--we are not divorced--Greg got a job working locally for the post office in September. He is home everyday. Though he works odd shifts and we don't see each other a lot--we are so grateful he is home. We have embarked on another adventure that I am putting on another blog- Now We Are Five!
Sunday, January 19, 2014
The Blessing of Correction
Heb 12:5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Heb 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Heb 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
Heb 12:10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Heb 12:12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
Heb 12:13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.
It is sure that it is no fun to be corrected. I just hate it when I'm wrong. But because I am born with a sin nature, in an imperfect state--I am bound to be wrong a lot. And the question I have to ask is: do I want to stay wrong, or suffer the pain and embarrassment of being corrected?
In some ways, it seems easier to not be corrected. I don't feel stupid, I don't have to change, and I don't suffer the pain of consequences. I am in control, not subject to someone who may bring me correction. I am happy and carefree.
But in the long run, an uncorrected wrong brings embarrassment, suffering and consequences. They always come, even if they only come in the next life. Whether its having toilet paper on my shoe, or having foundational wrong beliefs about heaven and hell, uncorrected wrong causes more pain in the long run.
God seems to think that it's a good idea to correct us. He speaks a lot about correction being a good thing. He calls it a blessing (Ps. 94:12). He considers it part of his fatherly relationship with us. (Deut 8:5) . He corrects with judgement and not in anger (Jer. 10:24) He corrects us for our profit (Heb. 12:7) and that we will bear more fruit (John 15:7).
I hate being wrong. But not knowing I am wrong is far worse, and far more dangerous than the agony of being wrong uncorrected. It stings when Greg points out that my memory failed me on the story that I'm telling and my facts are wrong. It hurts when I trusted someone I shouldn't have and endure the betrayal. The pain and suffering from my eating and spending habits can be depressing and limiting.
But God offers hope. If we will hear him knocking, he brings not only the list of things we need to change, but the power to make the change, before it is too late and there is no hope for us. If we will let him cut us, He will heal us stronger than new.
In the end, it's not whether we were wrong about something--that is a given. It's if we took the cure in correction.
Heb 12:6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
Heb 12:7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
Heb 12:8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Heb 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
Heb 12:10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.
Heb 12:11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Heb 12:12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
Heb 12:13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.
It is sure that it is no fun to be corrected. I just hate it when I'm wrong. But because I am born with a sin nature, in an imperfect state--I am bound to be wrong a lot. And the question I have to ask is: do I want to stay wrong, or suffer the pain and embarrassment of being corrected?
In some ways, it seems easier to not be corrected. I don't feel stupid, I don't have to change, and I don't suffer the pain of consequences. I am in control, not subject to someone who may bring me correction. I am happy and carefree.
But in the long run, an uncorrected wrong brings embarrassment, suffering and consequences. They always come, even if they only come in the next life. Whether its having toilet paper on my shoe, or having foundational wrong beliefs about heaven and hell, uncorrected wrong causes more pain in the long run.
God seems to think that it's a good idea to correct us. He speaks a lot about correction being a good thing. He calls it a blessing (Ps. 94:12). He considers it part of his fatherly relationship with us. (Deut 8:5) . He corrects with judgement and not in anger (Jer. 10:24) He corrects us for our profit (Heb. 12:7) and that we will bear more fruit (John 15:7).
I hate being wrong. But not knowing I am wrong is far worse, and far more dangerous than the agony of being wrong uncorrected. It stings when Greg points out that my memory failed me on the story that I'm telling and my facts are wrong. It hurts when I trusted someone I shouldn't have and endure the betrayal. The pain and suffering from my eating and spending habits can be depressing and limiting.
But God offers hope. If we will hear him knocking, he brings not only the list of things we need to change, but the power to make the change, before it is too late and there is no hope for us. If we will let him cut us, He will heal us stronger than new.
In the end, it's not whether we were wrong about something--that is a given. It's if we took the cure in correction.
Monday, January 6, 2014
God's Plans for Me Work in Any Circumstances
Jer 29:11 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Jer 29:12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
Jer 29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Jer 29:14 And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.
Did you ever hear someone say something to you and realize later that they meant something totally different than what you thought they said? This verse is like that--God used it to speak to me when I was 14, but I just now see a whole other meaning.
When I was 14 or 15, I was very confused and frustrated. I was living with my Mom who was not home a lot, and wondered if I should live with my Dad. In desperation, I flipped open a Bible and my eyes landed on Jeremiah 29:11. The idea that God had plans for me was encouraging--it was the first time that a scripture seemed to be tailor-made to my situation. I was encouraged, and began to make plans to live with my Dad.
Jeremiah 29:11 and the verses that follow became my life verse and I shared them with many people. I would especially share them with people in difficult circumstances or trying times as a way of saying, "See, God will get you out of this, He already has plans for you." I tended to read this verse a little like, "God has great plans for your life, and will get you out of the bad circumstances and into a better place soon."
Now, some of that is true, but yesterday I had an epiphany as I carefully read the context of that verse. The chapter is a letter Jeremiah wrote to people who were already in exile before the final fall of Jerusalem. The people were hoping for a quick escape from their captivity and false prophets were telling them they would only be there for two years. Jeremiah wrote them to tell them to settle down, have families and get cozy because it would be 70 years of captivity, not two. The promise of plans for these exiles (and for us!) comes in a context of accepting the current circumstances as they are, and focusing on God regardless of the circumstances.
That means, that although God has plans for circumstances in my life, His BIGGEST plan is for me to know and trust Him. And that plan can be worked out in any number of circumstances--regardless of how comfortable they are or how I feel about them. For so long, I have only thought of this verse in the light of God having plans for new circumstances for me, not that He has plans to make me know Him better IN the circumstances.
I am often, very often, discontented in being a trucker's wife. What had been a one-year emergency plan is going on 7 years and it has been hard to say the least. I had been using this verse with the idea that God had plans to change Greg's job and maybe my job, and to make it easier on us financially. I am now seeing that the plans God had were to get me to know Him better. To trust Him deeper. And those plans have marched along in the context of this awful job situation that we are enduring.
God does work to change circumstances and we need to keep praying and seeking Him for change. But if God thinks He can do a bigger heart change in us with the current set of circumstances, He will leave us in our needy place so we will seek Him for bigger goals, that of knowing Him.
Ultimately, all circumstances fade in the light of eternity. What our difficult circumstances do to our hearts if we will let them, will last forever.
Jer 29:12 Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
Jer 29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
Jer 29:14 And I will be found of you, saith the LORD: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places whither I have driven you, saith the LORD; and I will bring you again into the place whence I caused you to be carried away captive.
Did you ever hear someone say something to you and realize later that they meant something totally different than what you thought they said? This verse is like that--God used it to speak to me when I was 14, but I just now see a whole other meaning.
When I was 14 or 15, I was very confused and frustrated. I was living with my Mom who was not home a lot, and wondered if I should live with my Dad. In desperation, I flipped open a Bible and my eyes landed on Jeremiah 29:11. The idea that God had plans for me was encouraging--it was the first time that a scripture seemed to be tailor-made to my situation. I was encouraged, and began to make plans to live with my Dad.
Jeremiah 29:11 and the verses that follow became my life verse and I shared them with many people. I would especially share them with people in difficult circumstances or trying times as a way of saying, "See, God will get you out of this, He already has plans for you." I tended to read this verse a little like, "God has great plans for your life, and will get you out of the bad circumstances and into a better place soon."
Now, some of that is true, but yesterday I had an epiphany as I carefully read the context of that verse. The chapter is a letter Jeremiah wrote to people who were already in exile before the final fall of Jerusalem. The people were hoping for a quick escape from their captivity and false prophets were telling them they would only be there for two years. Jeremiah wrote them to tell them to settle down, have families and get cozy because it would be 70 years of captivity, not two. The promise of plans for these exiles (and for us!) comes in a context of accepting the current circumstances as they are, and focusing on God regardless of the circumstances.
That means, that although God has plans for circumstances in my life, His BIGGEST plan is for me to know and trust Him. And that plan can be worked out in any number of circumstances--regardless of how comfortable they are or how I feel about them. For so long, I have only thought of this verse in the light of God having plans for new circumstances for me, not that He has plans to make me know Him better IN the circumstances.
I am often, very often, discontented in being a trucker's wife. What had been a one-year emergency plan is going on 7 years and it has been hard to say the least. I had been using this verse with the idea that God had plans to change Greg's job and maybe my job, and to make it easier on us financially. I am now seeing that the plans God had were to get me to know Him better. To trust Him deeper. And those plans have marched along in the context of this awful job situation that we are enduring.
God does work to change circumstances and we need to keep praying and seeking Him for change. But if God thinks He can do a bigger heart change in us with the current set of circumstances, He will leave us in our needy place so we will seek Him for bigger goals, that of knowing Him.
Ultimately, all circumstances fade in the light of eternity. What our difficult circumstances do to our hearts if we will let them, will last forever.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Don't Fear the Fear of the Lord!
My "Fear" study has switched to the "Fear of the Lord". The fear of the Lord is the antidote for fear because it replaces everything else we fear with a healthy respect for the One who made us and Who has ultimate power over us. The fear of the Lord is putting fear in it's rightful place so instead of destroying us, it causes us to function with harmony.
The fear of the Lord is fear, but the fear is like my pastor says, fear when you do something bad and your parents find out. You don't fear that they will stop loving you, but you fear the punishment and the relationship will change.
The fear of the Lord is so many things--it cleans our motives and makes us look at things from a Divine perspective. It cuts out the selfish pursuit of indulgence that sloppy theology leads us to.
The fear of the Lord is actually enlightening and invigorating. It makes us think out of our boxes and realize the bigger scope of things.
The fear of the Lord causes us to put a higher priority on holiness and doing the right thing. Someone is watching us. We are accountable. The fear of the Lord helps us to see who we really are, and not who we think we are or want to be.
The fear of the Lord always leads us to the mercy and love of the Lord. It is the gateway to knowing God loves you, because if you see yourself the way His holiness sees you, and then you know He still died for your sins and longs to fellowship with you, you can't walk away feeling unloved.
I will post more as I am reading Jeremiah and other books.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Covering Willfulness with Helplessness
Jos 24:14 Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.
Jos 24:15 ¶ And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
I am still studying fear, and now have moved into discovering what is the fear of the Lord. I came across this verse and the idea occurs to me that fear is not a passive thing when it comes to truly fearing and honoring and valuing my relationship with God. Fearing God is very active and deliberate, unlike the passive fear response we experience when threatened.
The setting is Joshua is telling the people to actively choose to fear the Lord and put away idols. I did a quick inventory of the idols I currently tend to worship: money, my kids, my job, being in control, self pity, pride, stubbornness. I determined these were idols in my life by considering how much time, money, energy and thought life I put into those things.
One thing I realized when I thought about these idols--I really can change how I think and feel about these things--but I haven't really WANTED to. And, here's the key--TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE, I TOLD MYSELF I WAS TOO HELPLESS TO CHANGE THE WAY I AM.
I have great reasons why I have to keep on doing things the way I do--stressed out, worried about what people will think, wondering how to keep everybody happy, not taking care of my body.
But buried in those excuses is the solid "NO!" that I am saying to God. And all the wishing or agreeing in my mind with what I should do will not change the fact that I am rebelling against God.
The other thing I realized is that I WILL KNOW WHEN MY WILL IS SURRENDERED WHEN I ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Until I actually make a change, I am merely accenting to obedience.
Knowing this actually gives me a freedom to pray and seek God with more authority and sincerity. Instead of praying, "God help me, because I CAN'T do what I should," I can pray, "God help me, because I don't WANT to do what I should". My prayers are directed to the root of the problem instead of at the periphery. God can handle my honest lack of will and work on my heart. If I am feigning helplessness, He has to wait for me to get real.
"God help me change" becomes, "God help me WANT to change" and that is truly fearing the Lord.
Jos 24:15 ¶ And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
I am still studying fear, and now have moved into discovering what is the fear of the Lord. I came across this verse and the idea occurs to me that fear is not a passive thing when it comes to truly fearing and honoring and valuing my relationship with God. Fearing God is very active and deliberate, unlike the passive fear response we experience when threatened.
The setting is Joshua is telling the people to actively choose to fear the Lord and put away idols. I did a quick inventory of the idols I currently tend to worship: money, my kids, my job, being in control, self pity, pride, stubbornness. I determined these were idols in my life by considering how much time, money, energy and thought life I put into those things.
One thing I realized when I thought about these idols--I really can change how I think and feel about these things--but I haven't really WANTED to. And, here's the key--TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE, I TOLD MYSELF I WAS TOO HELPLESS TO CHANGE THE WAY I AM.
I have great reasons why I have to keep on doing things the way I do--stressed out, worried about what people will think, wondering how to keep everybody happy, not taking care of my body.
But buried in those excuses is the solid "NO!" that I am saying to God. And all the wishing or agreeing in my mind with what I should do will not change the fact that I am rebelling against God.
The other thing I realized is that I WILL KNOW WHEN MY WILL IS SURRENDERED WHEN I ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Until I actually make a change, I am merely accenting to obedience.
Knowing this actually gives me a freedom to pray and seek God with more authority and sincerity. Instead of praying, "God help me, because I CAN'T do what I should," I can pray, "God help me, because I don't WANT to do what I should". My prayers are directed to the root of the problem instead of at the periphery. God can handle my honest lack of will and work on my heart. If I am feigning helplessness, He has to wait for me to get real.
"God help me change" becomes, "God help me WANT to change" and that is truly fearing the Lord.
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
The Gift of Relationship
I love Christmas Day. Today is no exception. I like the fun of seeing the gifts I've wrapped make people smile. I like opening my gifts to enjoy the fact that I have been thought of and loved. I love eating, I love Christmas music. I love the whole thing, but what I am really reveling in is the fact that I am spending time with people I love.
Right now, my daughter is playing a video game with her friend down the street. My youngest daughter is watching bonus features on the "A Christmas Story" with Greg and myself.
It's just a warm feeling when people are together, even if they are not roasting chestnuts or decking the halls with boughs of holly.
It strikes me that the whole reason Jesus came was motivated by some of the same togetherness that I have been loving this Christmas. Jesus didn't come to prove he was bigger than Satan and could save the world from sin, though he is, and did. He came because he was so passionate about making a way for mankind to cuddle up and be in God's presence.
The fact remains, that if Jesus did not come as a tiny infant when He did, we would not be able to call God our father, and not be able to stand in the presence of a holy God who can not tolerate the presence of anything less than perfection. Jesus is the solution to the dilemma between God's passion for holy perfection, and God's passion to be united with His creation.
So Jesus came to make a true, lasing relationship between God and mankind--all those who would accept Jesus as the bridge between humanity and God. No one is forced to walk that bridge, but all who do enter into the relationship they were designed to have. God's passion to relate is the greatest gift of Christmas.
I want to use Christmas as a launching pad--to relate more intimately and personally to God than I ever have in the past. I want to put away the trappings of going through the motions and really relate to the God who went to the trouble of becoming like me so He could restore my relationship with Him.
The gift I most want to receive this year is one I have already been given: The gift of a deeper relationship with God Himself.
Right now, my daughter is playing a video game with her friend down the street. My youngest daughter is watching bonus features on the "A Christmas Story" with Greg and myself.
It's just a warm feeling when people are together, even if they are not roasting chestnuts or decking the halls with boughs of holly.
It strikes me that the whole reason Jesus came was motivated by some of the same togetherness that I have been loving this Christmas. Jesus didn't come to prove he was bigger than Satan and could save the world from sin, though he is, and did. He came because he was so passionate about making a way for mankind to cuddle up and be in God's presence.
The fact remains, that if Jesus did not come as a tiny infant when He did, we would not be able to call God our father, and not be able to stand in the presence of a holy God who can not tolerate the presence of anything less than perfection. Jesus is the solution to the dilemma between God's passion for holy perfection, and God's passion to be united with His creation.
So Jesus came to make a true, lasing relationship between God and mankind--all those who would accept Jesus as the bridge between humanity and God. No one is forced to walk that bridge, but all who do enter into the relationship they were designed to have. God's passion to relate is the greatest gift of Christmas.
I want to use Christmas as a launching pad--to relate more intimately and personally to God than I ever have in the past. I want to put away the trappings of going through the motions and really relate to the God who went to the trouble of becoming like me so He could restore my relationship with Him.
The gift I most want to receive this year is one I have already been given: The gift of a deeper relationship with God Himself.
Friday, December 20, 2013
God's Comfort Lasts Forever--Not Fear of Man
I have a confession to make. I have needed the comfort of some sort of blanket in order to sleep for my entire life. When I was young it was a blanket my great aunt gave me at birth. When I was 17 I threw it away thinking I was too old. I promptly replaced it with an afghan my mother made. When that wore out, I replaced it with another afghan given as a wedding present. It's been a life-long comfort for me.
In Isaiah chapter 51, God is talking about real life-long comfort. He goes over with the Jews the fact that His salvation lasts for all eternity--even as the earth and heavens are consumed and all inhabitants die. His comfort and salvation are coming from the same eternal source that created the world and put it in motion. This is God Himself, who will also put in motion a new heaven and earth.
In the midst of this chapter, God says this:
Isa 51:12 I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
Isa 51:13 And forgettest the LORD thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? and where is the fury of the oppressor?
Going back to the theme of this week--Fearing God is the antidote to fearing man. When we fear what people think of us or what they may do to us, we are forgetting God and his great love for us!
We are putting our trust in our ability to please people in order to gain peace instead of setting our hearts firmly on the fact that God loves us.
I've seen demonstrations where a pencil can obstruct the sun if held in the right way. Fear of man is like that; a very small thing that looms larger in our mind than the very powerful and great loving God we serve. We can't be afraid of man and at the same time be fully immersed in God's love for us.
I will probably keep my blanket. But as this freedom from fear journey continues, I want to draw deep into the comfort of the Lord and keep Him in focus, not the thoughts and opinions of people.
ricochet.com
In Isaiah chapter 51, God is talking about real life-long comfort. He goes over with the Jews the fact that His salvation lasts for all eternity--even as the earth and heavens are consumed and all inhabitants die. His comfort and salvation are coming from the same eternal source that created the world and put it in motion. This is God Himself, who will also put in motion a new heaven and earth.
In the midst of this chapter, God says this:
Isa 51:12 I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
Isa 51:13 And forgettest the LORD thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? and where is the fury of the oppressor?
Going back to the theme of this week--Fearing God is the antidote to fearing man. When we fear what people think of us or what they may do to us, we are forgetting God and his great love for us!
We are putting our trust in our ability to please people in order to gain peace instead of setting our hearts firmly on the fact that God loves us.
I've seen demonstrations where a pencil can obstruct the sun if held in the right way. Fear of man is like that; a very small thing that looms larger in our mind than the very powerful and great loving God we serve. We can't be afraid of man and at the same time be fully immersed in God's love for us.
I will probably keep my blanket. But as this freedom from fear journey continues, I want to draw deep into the comfort of the Lord and keep Him in focus, not the thoughts and opinions of people.
ricochet.com
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