I had a rare delicacy last night. A couple of good friends and I went out for dinner last night at Beltline Bar and had the most delicious conversation. We shared our struggles with depression, with our spouses, with our children and with our selves. We pondered what was in store for us, what might be God's purpose for us in our struggles and His plans for our futures. We laughed and nearly cried several times.
It is so easy to take people for granted, our daily life and our hectic pace make it difficult to "go deep" into each other's sorrow or joy. We tend to have a pat answer, or a giggly hug and avoid the weightier issues of life.
But this deep conversation really made some life changes in us--I could feel the insight deepening as we really shared what was below the surface. We felt stronger knowing we were suffering the same things together, and that we were really not alone, because we took time to really hear where each other is at.
Why do we spurn this good medicine so often? Why do we opt for a movie or tv show that fills our heart full of stranger's problems rather than touch real ones in our own friend's lives Why do we broadcast trivia to other on the web, instead of really listen to our children and our spouse and our neighbor. Why don't we hear what ISNT said among all the friendly banter that we enjoy at work, at church, at home.
I think we would all do better if we shared a meal and our hearts more often.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
back to normal
Greg headed out to Oklahoma yesterday so its back to the routine when Greg leaves. There is a certain realignment that takes place in our home when Greg goes back to the truck. (or as Sophie once said--"Daddy, I hate it when you have to go back 'home'" )
The girls usually seem happy, but often Maddie has more trouble getting to sleep. Yesterday she threw a temper tantrum which was partly the fall out from so much birthday attention, and partly from Greg leaving. We go back to doing some school, reading keys for kids at dinner, and letting the house go a little. I finally mowed the lawn, something I hate to waste time doing when he is home for a week.
We go back to the stilted ways of talking on the phone, it is harder to truly communicate when you can't read the non-verbal cues, the eye-contact, the postures. You never know how much of your message is conveyed that way until you have to carry on a relationship strictly by voice.
It is not the normal that's ideal, but there is a comfort in going back to the familiar grind of how we live when he's not home.
The girls usually seem happy, but often Maddie has more trouble getting to sleep. Yesterday she threw a temper tantrum which was partly the fall out from so much birthday attention, and partly from Greg leaving. We go back to doing some school, reading keys for kids at dinner, and letting the house go a little. I finally mowed the lawn, something I hate to waste time doing when he is home for a week.
We go back to the stilted ways of talking on the phone, it is harder to truly communicate when you can't read the non-verbal cues, the eye-contact, the postures. You never know how much of your message is conveyed that way until you have to carry on a relationship strictly by voice.
It is not the normal that's ideal, but there is a comfort in going back to the familiar grind of how we live when he's not home.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Packing for Cedar Point
Last night was the prep night for our Cedar Point trip. While it is unusual to pick a place to visit where we have to drive (Driving is work to truckers) it is going to be a great time. I wandered through the house collecting things that we might need--camera of course, pj's, a travel pillow. In the process I found a large collection of Maddie's underwear in an overnight bag I use when I take the girls to the sitters. Packing is like pretending you already are somewhere and imagining what you will need. So it really helps you get in the mood. I usually don't get excited about vacations until I am packing.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Mowing the Lawn and losing it all
I hate to mow the lawn. It's something I really wish Greg was here to do. So often our yard is like the pimple on the beautiful green face of our neighborhood. My neighbors all seem to have a knack for making their yards golf course smooth and invitingly beflowered.
So yesterday I was mowing the front yard (at least get the public side looking nice) and I was pondering the circumstances of various people in my circle of life that are having a hard time financially. (despite my hatred of mowing, it does give me great thinking time!) In one case I wondered, "What if they lose it all?" I pondered what that would be like as my mower chewed away and then it hit me---of course they will lose it all! Everyone will! There is not one person who will get to take their boat, their car, their house, DVD collection or even their Pez dispenser with them. Everyone will die, everyone will lose everything they collected and cared for in life. They will lose thier children, their position, their honor.
Far from being depression, there was a great liberation in this thought. So much of life involves tending these things that are like my lawn--it will not last! No matter what I do to make my lawn lush and green, someday it will be snowcovered and dormant. And no matter what things in life I think are important--like a car, house, job, position or freedom, the only things I take with me is my character, my relationships and especially, my relationship with Jesus!
So I can relax and focus my energies more on those things that build a real future.
As I waddled behind ol' bessie I thought, how true--all flesh is truly like grass!
1Pe 1:24 ¶ because "All flesh is as grass, And all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers, And its flower falls away,
1Pe 1:25 But the word of the LORD endures forever." Now this is the word which by the gospel was preached to you.
So yesterday I was mowing the front yard (at least get the public side looking nice) and I was pondering the circumstances of various people in my circle of life that are having a hard time financially. (despite my hatred of mowing, it does give me great thinking time!) In one case I wondered, "What if they lose it all?" I pondered what that would be like as my mower chewed away and then it hit me---of course they will lose it all! Everyone will! There is not one person who will get to take their boat, their car, their house, DVD collection or even their Pez dispenser with them. Everyone will die, everyone will lose everything they collected and cared for in life. They will lose thier children, their position, their honor.
Far from being depression, there was a great liberation in this thought. So much of life involves tending these things that are like my lawn--it will not last! No matter what I do to make my lawn lush and green, someday it will be snowcovered and dormant. And no matter what things in life I think are important--like a car, house, job, position or freedom, the only things I take with me is my character, my relationships and especially, my relationship with Jesus!
So I can relax and focus my energies more on those things that build a real future.
As I waddled behind ol' bessie I thought, how true--all flesh is truly like grass!
1Pe 1:24 ¶ because "All flesh is as grass, And all the glory of man as the flower of the grass. The grass withers, And its flower falls away,
1Pe 1:25 But the word of the LORD endures forever." Now this is the word which by the gospel was preached to you.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Highbrow Hometime
What does a trucker do when he's home? Well watching TV is not high on the list--the only entertainment on the road is the tv and dvd player in the truck. Greg does wonderful things that I can't, like organize the garage. (I don't have the spatial aptitude to figure out how to arrange things.) He loves to go grocery shopping--just walking around somewhere is better than sitting and driving. And with the girls glued to him all the time he gets to read to them a lot!
My favorite thing we did this weekend was to sit in our big black chair and listen to "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" a nerdy newsy comedy show he downloads from NPR.
Next week he has 9 days off--Whoo whoo!!! Maybe we'll throw in a few Star Trek's to boot!
My favorite thing we did this weekend was to sit in our big black chair and listen to "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" a nerdy newsy comedy show he downloads from NPR.
Next week he has 9 days off--Whoo whoo!!! Maybe we'll throw in a few Star Trek's to boot!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Home Time
Greg is home today, and I am off to work my part-time job at Chico's (upscale, fun women's clothing boutique)
Home time is often an upset apple-cart in terms of schedule, rules, things we planned to do. For one, most of the time I only have a day or so notice when Greg will be home. Whatever we planned to do gets preempted by his arrival--which is great!
Second, when Greg comes home--the girls latch on to him like barnacles on a ship, they are in almost constant contact with him the entire time he's home. It's like if they can touch him, he's more real. They try to follow him into the shower!
It's kinda nice to hit the erase button on the schedule and just let him decide what we do or don't do. I can get a little schedule-nuts sometimes, so when Greg's home, I can let go and let him "drive" our itinerary.
Home time is often an upset apple-cart in terms of schedule, rules, things we planned to do. For one, most of the time I only have a day or so notice when Greg will be home. Whatever we planned to do gets preempted by his arrival--which is great!
Second, when Greg comes home--the girls latch on to him like barnacles on a ship, they are in almost constant contact with him the entire time he's home. It's like if they can touch him, he's more real. They try to follow him into the shower!
It's kinda nice to hit the erase button on the schedule and just let him decide what we do or don't do. I can get a little schedule-nuts sometimes, so when Greg's home, I can let go and let him "drive" our itinerary.
Welcome to our 18 Wheel World
Hello everyone!
My name is Karen and I am a trucker's wife. I didn't start out that way--My husband was an electrician for 20 years, and I was working at a great job in an office furniture manufacturer. Add two kids, subtract two jobs, and that is how I became a trucker's wife.
I have been a trucker's wife for almost two years. It has been a wild ride, learning to be a functional single parent and keep heart and soul and road together. I have learned a lot. And nearly every day I think, "that would be great on a blog." So here I am, sharing my new lifestyle with you and hopefully making you laugh with me, and maybe cry a bit too.
You also need to know that what gets my family through--and the focus of my life, is my best friend, Jesus. He is the glue that gets me through the late nights, crying girls and also, He inspires my greatest joy and dares me to become more than I think is possible. I am writing this blog also to share the ways Jesus helps me and the ways that I can glorify Him.
My name is Karen and I am a trucker's wife. I didn't start out that way--My husband was an electrician for 20 years, and I was working at a great job in an office furniture manufacturer. Add two kids, subtract two jobs, and that is how I became a trucker's wife.
I have been a trucker's wife for almost two years. It has been a wild ride, learning to be a functional single parent and keep heart and soul and road together. I have learned a lot. And nearly every day I think, "that would be great on a blog." So here I am, sharing my new lifestyle with you and hopefully making you laugh with me, and maybe cry a bit too.
You also need to know that what gets my family through--and the focus of my life, is my best friend, Jesus. He is the glue that gets me through the late nights, crying girls and also, He inspires my greatest joy and dares me to become more than I think is possible. I am writing this blog also to share the ways Jesus helps me and the ways that I can glorify Him.
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