Jos 24:14 Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.
Jos 24:15 ¶ And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
I am still studying fear, and now have moved into discovering what is the fear of the Lord. I came across this verse and the idea occurs to me that fear is not a passive thing when it comes to truly fearing and honoring and valuing my relationship with God. Fearing God is very active and deliberate, unlike the passive fear response we experience when threatened.
The setting is Joshua is telling the people to actively choose to fear the Lord and put away idols. I did a quick inventory of the idols I currently tend to worship: money, my kids, my job, being in control, self pity, pride, stubbornness. I determined these were idols in my life by considering how much time, money, energy and thought life I put into those things.
One thing I realized when I thought about these idols--I really can change how I think and feel about these things--but I haven't really WANTED to. And, here's the key--TO COVER UP THE FACT THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE, I TOLD MYSELF I WAS TOO HELPLESS TO CHANGE THE WAY I AM.
I have great reasons why I have to keep on doing things the way I do--stressed out, worried about what people will think, wondering how to keep everybody happy, not taking care of my body.
But buried in those excuses is the solid "NO!" that I am saying to God. And all the wishing or agreeing in my mind with what I should do will not change the fact that I am rebelling against God.
The other thing I realized is that I WILL KNOW WHEN MY WILL IS SURRENDERED WHEN I ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Until I actually make a change, I am merely accenting to obedience.
Knowing this actually gives me a freedom to pray and seek God with more authority and sincerity. Instead of praying, "God help me, because I CAN'T do what I should," I can pray, "God help me, because I don't WANT to do what I should". My prayers are directed to the root of the problem instead of at the periphery. God can handle my honest lack of will and work on my heart. If I am feigning helplessness, He has to wait for me to get real.
"God help me change" becomes, "God help me WANT to change" and that is truly fearing the Lord.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
The Gift of Relationship
I love Christmas Day. Today is no exception. I like the fun of seeing the gifts I've wrapped make people smile. I like opening my gifts to enjoy the fact that I have been thought of and loved. I love eating, I love Christmas music. I love the whole thing, but what I am really reveling in is the fact that I am spending time with people I love.
Right now, my daughter is playing a video game with her friend down the street. My youngest daughter is watching bonus features on the "A Christmas Story" with Greg and myself.
It's just a warm feeling when people are together, even if they are not roasting chestnuts or decking the halls with boughs of holly.
It strikes me that the whole reason Jesus came was motivated by some of the same togetherness that I have been loving this Christmas. Jesus didn't come to prove he was bigger than Satan and could save the world from sin, though he is, and did. He came because he was so passionate about making a way for mankind to cuddle up and be in God's presence.
The fact remains, that if Jesus did not come as a tiny infant when He did, we would not be able to call God our father, and not be able to stand in the presence of a holy God who can not tolerate the presence of anything less than perfection. Jesus is the solution to the dilemma between God's passion for holy perfection, and God's passion to be united with His creation.
So Jesus came to make a true, lasing relationship between God and mankind--all those who would accept Jesus as the bridge between humanity and God. No one is forced to walk that bridge, but all who do enter into the relationship they were designed to have. God's passion to relate is the greatest gift of Christmas.
I want to use Christmas as a launching pad--to relate more intimately and personally to God than I ever have in the past. I want to put away the trappings of going through the motions and really relate to the God who went to the trouble of becoming like me so He could restore my relationship with Him.
The gift I most want to receive this year is one I have already been given: The gift of a deeper relationship with God Himself.
Right now, my daughter is playing a video game with her friend down the street. My youngest daughter is watching bonus features on the "A Christmas Story" with Greg and myself.
It's just a warm feeling when people are together, even if they are not roasting chestnuts or decking the halls with boughs of holly.
It strikes me that the whole reason Jesus came was motivated by some of the same togetherness that I have been loving this Christmas. Jesus didn't come to prove he was bigger than Satan and could save the world from sin, though he is, and did. He came because he was so passionate about making a way for mankind to cuddle up and be in God's presence.
The fact remains, that if Jesus did not come as a tiny infant when He did, we would not be able to call God our father, and not be able to stand in the presence of a holy God who can not tolerate the presence of anything less than perfection. Jesus is the solution to the dilemma between God's passion for holy perfection, and God's passion to be united with His creation.
So Jesus came to make a true, lasing relationship between God and mankind--all those who would accept Jesus as the bridge between humanity and God. No one is forced to walk that bridge, but all who do enter into the relationship they were designed to have. God's passion to relate is the greatest gift of Christmas.
I want to use Christmas as a launching pad--to relate more intimately and personally to God than I ever have in the past. I want to put away the trappings of going through the motions and really relate to the God who went to the trouble of becoming like me so He could restore my relationship with Him.
The gift I most want to receive this year is one I have already been given: The gift of a deeper relationship with God Himself.
Friday, December 20, 2013
God's Comfort Lasts Forever--Not Fear of Man
I have a confession to make. I have needed the comfort of some sort of blanket in order to sleep for my entire life. When I was young it was a blanket my great aunt gave me at birth. When I was 17 I threw it away thinking I was too old. I promptly replaced it with an afghan my mother made. When that wore out, I replaced it with another afghan given as a wedding present. It's been a life-long comfort for me.
In Isaiah chapter 51, God is talking about real life-long comfort. He goes over with the Jews the fact that His salvation lasts for all eternity--even as the earth and heavens are consumed and all inhabitants die. His comfort and salvation are coming from the same eternal source that created the world and put it in motion. This is God Himself, who will also put in motion a new heaven and earth.
In the midst of this chapter, God says this:
Isa 51:12 I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
Isa 51:13 And forgettest the LORD thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? and where is the fury of the oppressor?
Going back to the theme of this week--Fearing God is the antidote to fearing man. When we fear what people think of us or what they may do to us, we are forgetting God and his great love for us!
We are putting our trust in our ability to please people in order to gain peace instead of setting our hearts firmly on the fact that God loves us.
I've seen demonstrations where a pencil can obstruct the sun if held in the right way. Fear of man is like that; a very small thing that looms larger in our mind than the very powerful and great loving God we serve. We can't be afraid of man and at the same time be fully immersed in God's love for us.
I will probably keep my blanket. But as this freedom from fear journey continues, I want to draw deep into the comfort of the Lord and keep Him in focus, not the thoughts and opinions of people.
ricochet.com
In Isaiah chapter 51, God is talking about real life-long comfort. He goes over with the Jews the fact that His salvation lasts for all eternity--even as the earth and heavens are consumed and all inhabitants die. His comfort and salvation are coming from the same eternal source that created the world and put it in motion. This is God Himself, who will also put in motion a new heaven and earth.
In the midst of this chapter, God says this:
Isa 51:12 I, even I, am he that comforteth you: who art thou, that thou shouldest be afraid of a man that shall die, and of the son of man which shall be made as grass;
Isa 51:13 And forgettest the LORD thy maker, that hath stretched forth the heavens, and laid the foundations of the earth; and hast feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, as if he were ready to destroy? and where is the fury of the oppressor?
Going back to the theme of this week--Fearing God is the antidote to fearing man. When we fear what people think of us or what they may do to us, we are forgetting God and his great love for us!
We are putting our trust in our ability to please people in order to gain peace instead of setting our hearts firmly on the fact that God loves us.
I've seen demonstrations where a pencil can obstruct the sun if held in the right way. Fear of man is like that; a very small thing that looms larger in our mind than the very powerful and great loving God we serve. We can't be afraid of man and at the same time be fully immersed in God's love for us.
I will probably keep my blanket. But as this freedom from fear journey continues, I want to draw deep into the comfort of the Lord and keep Him in focus, not the thoughts and opinions of people.
ricochet.comThursday, December 19, 2013
Batach Again
Pr 29:25 ¶ The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.
I think the most common fear I struggle with is fear of man. It's subtle, somehow my day is shaped by the expectations of others and I get anxious to do what I think will be accepted by others. My work performance, what my kids want for dinner, how my husband will think the house looks when he gets home--all day I am bombarded with what others will want and what they will think of me. It's not wrong to do a good job, make your kids happy and keep the house clean. It is wrong to let my life focus to be based on what people will think of me, and what I can do to please them.
Living for others to love me is a wrong type of fear that brings a lot of heartache--anxiety, disappointment, confusion over priorities, and depression. It keeps you from hearing from God what he wants you do and focusing on that. And, once again, fear is a twisted form of worship-it is trusting (in this case) the opinions of others more than trusting the love of God for me.
The second half of this verse is the antidote for fear of man: "whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe." "Trust" here is that word from my blog of the other day, "Batach" which means to hide for refuge, to trust, be confident or sure:--be bold (confident, secure, sure), careless (one, woman), put confidence, (make to) hope, (put, make to) trust.
Trusting in God means I may not please everyone, but I trust His love for me. My confidence comes not from keeping everyone happy, but from my relationship with God. I trust Him and do what HE tells me to do, regardless if it keeps the world happy.
The result is that I am "safe". That word means "lofty" "inaccessible" and "strong". If I am truly trusting in the Lord, I am going to be high above the fears that people won't like me, or that I am rejected for my bad hair, or rough day at work. The cacophony of anxious thoughts about the people around me will sound very distant. Peace will return to me as I sit quietly in God's presence.
And I will not have my head in the noose of fear of man. YAY!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Who We Should Fear
I am still studying fear and how to overcome it. Today I came across Ps. 2:11---
"Serve the Lord with reverent awe and worshipful fear; rejoice and be in high spirits with trembling [lest you displease Him]. Amp.
First, I was thinking that when you fear something, you are giving it power over you. You are making it a controlling factor in your life. So in a sense, what you fear is what you worship.
It may sound negative to say, "Fear the Lord". But if you look at it like, "Make Him the chief concern in your life" it seems reasonable. Because what you fear the most has the most power over you.
I like that, according to this verse, I am full of awe and worship, rejoicing and in high spirits while I fear the Lord. The fear of God brings liberty from every other fear we can have. It sets us free to enjoy life. I like just having one thing to fear.
The part about "lest you displease Him" makes sense too. I hate to disappoint someone I really love and care for. Part of true love is caring about how the other person feels, even when that person is God.
So, I want to simplify my life and just focus all my "fear energy" into making God my chief concern. I think that is the best way to squash the little fears and not so little fears that plague my soul.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The Righteous are Bold as a Lion
"The wicked flee when no man pursueth but the righteous are bold as a lion." Prov. 28:1
I can identify with the first part of the verse easily. I am constantly battling fear and worry over things that don't even happen, or aren't even likely to happen. "What is that noise in my car--will I have to get a new one ---we can't afford that right now!" Or, "What if my girls hate me when they grow up ---how can I prevent that?" Dumb stuff.
The hurdle I have with this verse is on the "righteous" part. When will I be considered "righteous" enough to be truly confident? When can I say, "Ok, I am finally good enough to be bold? It seems that I am always looking at my level of behavior and skill and then shrinking back in fear because it's not good enough, not perfect enough to warrant the bold confidence I crave.
Performance driven confidence is seductive, we feel good about what we think we know or can do well, but it masks fear of being surpassed by someone else or we lose our abilities. Then there is the remaining fear of failure that concerns the areas we are not so hot.
I am convinced that the "righteousness" in the verse is not "doing good". It is RELATIONAL RIGHTEOUSNESS. We are in right standing because of Christ and our relationship with Him, nothing more.
There is a hint of this when you look at the Hebrew for the word "bold". The word, Batach, means:
" to hide for refuge; figuratively, to trust, be confident or sure:--be bold (confident, secure, sure), careless, put confidence, (make to) hope, (put, make to) trust.
Its more about Who you know than what you can do. Confidence comes in knowing the One who can do it all and knowing He cares for you, rather than strength, will power or skill.
So I would rewrite this verse: The self-confident flee when nothing pursues them, but the ones who know God loves them and trust Him to help are bold as a lion.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Launching my daughter off to school
I went to my daughter's school's orientation last night. She is going to an environmental school near our home. It was thrilling and terrifying all at the same time.
Most parents go through the anxiety of sending their first child off to school much earlier. My daughter will be in 6th grade. I feel this melancholy rush of longing. "Wait!" my Mommie soul screams. "I still want to play in the park, I still want to gather leaves and jump in them, I still want to go to the children's museum and play--I still want to see you all day, every day!"
This is the first birth pangs of the adult that I will turn loose in the world. I know there are many more tearing, screaming moments ahead. They will not be all terrible, but a sweet blend of joy and pain.
She is so excited to launch into this big green world that's been in our back yard for all these years. I am launching too, into a world where I don't hold her so closely with my hand, and squeeze her all that more tightly with my heart.
Most parents go through the anxiety of sending their first child off to school much earlier. My daughter will be in 6th grade. I feel this melancholy rush of longing. "Wait!" my Mommie soul screams. "I still want to play in the park, I still want to gather leaves and jump in them, I still want to go to the children's museum and play--I still want to see you all day, every day!"
This is the first birth pangs of the adult that I will turn loose in the world. I know there are many more tearing, screaming moments ahead. They will not be all terrible, but a sweet blend of joy and pain.
She is so excited to launch into this big green world that's been in our back yard for all these years. I am launching too, into a world where I don't hold her so closely with my hand, and squeeze her all that more tightly with my heart.
Monday, August 26, 2013
Unlearning what I know
Mt 11:25 ¶ At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank
thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things
from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.
So much of life is UN-learning what I think I know. When I think I have things all figured out--I'm in trouble. A big source of the conflict in my life is dealing with the expectations I have set up based on the plans I've made, based on what I think I know. I think I have a great idea, plan for it and watch it blow up in my face.
For instance, I set up a reasonable plan to get up early and have great quiet times. I get up and I follow my plan until "whoops!" Facebook curiosity gets me off track and I end up losing all that precious quality God time to some cute cat pictures and stories of my neighbors. So much for my plan. Or I set up the perfect chore chart and whip the girls into place with it. For a week.
What I need is to not have a better plan, or to know how to set up my day better. Knowledge and planning only go so far. What I need is a deep internal knowing: REVELATION. It's not just the last book of the Bible, it refers to a deep knowing instigated by contact with God. The Greek word is "Apokalupto", and means "to reveal, to take the cover off, to disclose."
Revelation is something God does, not something I figure out on my own. I can seek for revelation, I can treasure it, I can ask for it, but it is not something that I come up with on my own. I need to ask and receive. Like asking Him to help me draw near to Him in a deeper way in my quiet time. I ask--then receive as I do what I can to make my heart ready.
Revelation requires humility. It requires not knowing all the answers. It requires that I don't try to plan or strategize with my own intellect and experience. I look to God. I seek His word and presence to sort out things. If I go back into that quiet time with the idea that God will speak to me rather than I will check devotions off my list, I may gain something and not be distracted.
In this verse, Jesus was thanking the Father that the humble, foolish, and ignorant disciples had received and understood Him. They got who He was even as the spiritual leaders and learned men stumbled over his identity. The Pharisees could not repent (change their way of thinking) where as the humble fishermen could. Jesus commended the humility of the fishermen and condemned the pride of the Pharisees who had it all figured out.
I'm wanting to stop figuring it all out, and wait for revelation to change my heart and my mind.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Being Secure in Who God Made You to Be
I stumbled across these verses in my survey of John this morning and it stopped me cold:
Joh 3:27 John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
Joh 3:28 Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him.
Joh 3:29 He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.
I thought, "What an amazingly secure man!" Here was the guy who had been the flashpoint of revival, had drawn a crowd of followers and who had the public eye on focused on him and his ministry. In one day, he handed it all over to Jesus--and was content and joyful about it!
So much of my angst in life has more to do with how I am perceived. I worry over my ranking at work, how do my neighbors feel about the quack grass in my lawn, or will my children hate me someday if I make them eat green beans today. I slide into the temptation to define myself and my success based on how others see me.
John, however, saw clearly the purpose God had designed for him. He defined himself by how God saw him and realized that his place of attention and fame had been a gift that he would need to return.
He was happy because his obedience had made God happy. It was simple.
Later, he did have some doubts when he was in prison and had a moment where he needed to know if it was all worth it. I'm glad he did, because I have those moments a lot. Jesus gently reminded John of the bigger picture than John had played a part in--the plan was carrying on. It was almost as if Jesus was saying, "Remember, this plan is bigger than you".
I hope that as I age, I get more and more focused on seeing God's pleasure as my primary goal. I have a lot perception changing to do, but if I keep looking at Jesus, He will get bigger.
Joh 3:27 John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
Joh 3:28 Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him.
Joh 3:29 He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.
I thought, "What an amazingly secure man!" Here was the guy who had been the flashpoint of revival, had drawn a crowd of followers and who had the public eye on focused on him and his ministry. In one day, he handed it all over to Jesus--and was content and joyful about it!
So much of my angst in life has more to do with how I am perceived. I worry over my ranking at work, how do my neighbors feel about the quack grass in my lawn, or will my children hate me someday if I make them eat green beans today. I slide into the temptation to define myself and my success based on how others see me.
John, however, saw clearly the purpose God had designed for him. He defined himself by how God saw him and realized that his place of attention and fame had been a gift that he would need to return.
He was happy because his obedience had made God happy. It was simple.
Later, he did have some doubts when he was in prison and had a moment where he needed to know if it was all worth it. I'm glad he did, because I have those moments a lot. Jesus gently reminded John of the bigger picture than John had played a part in--the plan was carrying on. It was almost as if Jesus was saying, "Remember, this plan is bigger than you".
I hope that as I age, I get more and more focused on seeing God's pleasure as my primary goal. I have a lot perception changing to do, but if I keep looking at Jesus, He will get bigger.
Saturday, July 6, 2013
Nothing Amazing, just an amazing life
I wanted to say something profound and amazing, but I am just going to say I am so grateful to God for the past few days. Greg's most recent homecoming was so well timed that we were able to truly have a complete family day at the Zoo,(I even did the ropes course with Soph and Greg!) followed by Greg's homecookin' and swimming with Grandmama. We topped off the night with amazing Downtown GR fireworks in a great location that only God could have saved for us.
Friday was great but today was another great family day at church, Mommie/Maddie date complete with birthday party plans, coffee (or hot chocolate) and shopping. We brought home a new Build-a-Bear friend named "Hoppy" (he's a bunny) and then hi-tailed it to the Buss' home in Rockford for Aunt Holly's annual Fourth of July party, complete with great conversations and fireworks.
I have to say life is pretty good, I don't know what I did to deserve all this, I think God is just that good and I wanted Him and you to know how good He's been to me lately. I know that I may feel otherwise at different times, but the fact remains that when life is good, He gets the credit for putting it all together.
Friday was great but today was another great family day at church, Mommie/Maddie date complete with birthday party plans, coffee (or hot chocolate) and shopping. We brought home a new Build-a-Bear friend named "Hoppy" (he's a bunny) and then hi-tailed it to the Buss' home in Rockford for Aunt Holly's annual Fourth of July party, complete with great conversations and fireworks.
I have to say life is pretty good, I don't know what I did to deserve all this, I think God is just that good and I wanted Him and you to know how good He's been to me lately. I know that I may feel otherwise at different times, but the fact remains that when life is good, He gets the credit for putting it all together.
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Learning Social Media Marketing and Success through Meditation.
I am learning to do Social Media Marketing for a business owned by a friend of mine. It's really quite a blast as I put content and photos up on the page. It's getting the message out, and learning about how to really connect with customers and friends of the business.
I am doing at least one Facebook posting a day and go out every week to get more photos. I have been appreciating the difficulty business owners have in getting their customer's attention in the endless flood of ads, blogs, sites, and posts out there.
It seems to me that there is another One who has to fight for my attention. My face time with God gets crunched by all the blogs and news and emails that I want to read. I have to struggle to mentally climb out of the Facebook newsreel and into something more lasting and nourishing than grumpy kitty photos.
I am working on memorizing a verse a week and the one for this week (and last week I'm afraid) really cuts to the heart of my mental focus. Here it goes, from memory:
Joshua 1:8
"This book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but thou shalt meditate therein day and night that thou mayest observe to do all that is written therein, for then shall thou make thy way very prosperous, and then thou shall have good success. " KJV
Ok, so I had to look a few times. But here is that verse in another version:
"Do not let this book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
So what does that mean? Looking in the Hebrew in my Lexicon, I found out that meditate means to mumble, or to imagine. I think of my girls when they are playing a "game" of imagination with their vast assortment of Polly Pockets. They are continually creating the drama and characters by speaking out what is going on. They create with words the story they want to enjoy, using the dolls as props.
In our reality, we need to use God's Word to create a new reality for ourselves. We need to not just read God's Word, but imagine how our lives will change as a result of the insights we gain from our reading. When we read God's word, we need to see our lives and our selves in a new light, and then act accordingly with what is revealed to us. Meditation on scripture allows us to mentally "try on" a new way of life in the process of becoming a better representation of Christ.
Daily Bible reading and study is great but it is not an end in itself. The goal is to have a permanent change in thinking that causes us to be more like God and to enjoy Him more. It takes more than "scrolling through" the Bible, we have to muddle it out in our minds.
I am doing at least one Facebook posting a day and go out every week to get more photos. I have been appreciating the difficulty business owners have in getting their customer's attention in the endless flood of ads, blogs, sites, and posts out there.
It seems to me that there is another One who has to fight for my attention. My face time with God gets crunched by all the blogs and news and emails that I want to read. I have to struggle to mentally climb out of the Facebook newsreel and into something more lasting and nourishing than grumpy kitty photos.
I am working on memorizing a verse a week and the one for this week (and last week I'm afraid) really cuts to the heart of my mental focus. Here it goes, from memory:
Joshua 1:8
"This book of the Law shall not depart out of your mouth, but thou shalt meditate therein day and night that thou mayest observe to do all that is written therein, for then shall thou make thy way very prosperous, and then thou shall have good success. " KJV
Ok, so I had to look a few times. But here is that verse in another version:
"Do not let this book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.
So what does that mean? Looking in the Hebrew in my Lexicon, I found out that meditate means to mumble, or to imagine. I think of my girls when they are playing a "game" of imagination with their vast assortment of Polly Pockets. They are continually creating the drama and characters by speaking out what is going on. They create with words the story they want to enjoy, using the dolls as props.
In our reality, we need to use God's Word to create a new reality for ourselves. We need to not just read God's Word, but imagine how our lives will change as a result of the insights we gain from our reading. When we read God's word, we need to see our lives and our selves in a new light, and then act accordingly with what is revealed to us. Meditation on scripture allows us to mentally "try on" a new way of life in the process of becoming a better representation of Christ.
Daily Bible reading and study is great but it is not an end in itself. The goal is to have a permanent change in thinking that causes us to be more like God and to enjoy Him more. It takes more than "scrolling through" the Bible, we have to muddle it out in our minds.
Monday, June 17, 2013
Having Coffee with God
This morning I sat and cuddled with God in the big chair in the living room. I was thinking how much He must love me because He has put up with so much stuff from me over the years. It was sweet just to sit there and soak up His love, imagining the arms of the chair were His arms around me.
I then began to read Psalms. You gotta read Psalms! What a rich language of conversation with God is in the Psalms. As I was reading through the book, all the emotions of the past few days were uncovered and God shed his perspective on how I thought and felt. I left feeling really heard, really loved and really encouraged.
God really wants to have that conversation with YOU! Grab a cup of coffee and the book of Psalms and get cozy!
I then began to read Psalms. You gotta read Psalms! What a rich language of conversation with God is in the Psalms. As I was reading through the book, all the emotions of the past few days were uncovered and God shed his perspective on how I thought and felt. I left feeling really heard, really loved and really encouraged.
God really wants to have that conversation with YOU! Grab a cup of coffee and the book of Psalms and get cozy!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Fight or Flight
Ps 11:1 ¶ <
Ps 11:2 For, lo, the wicked bend their bow, they make ready their arrow upon the string, that they may privily shoot at the upright in heart.
Ps 11:3 If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
Ps 11:4 ¶ The LORD is in his holy temple, the LORD'S throne is in heaven: his eyes behold, his eyelids try, the children of men.
Ps 11:5 The LORD trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth violence his soul hateth.
I am loving the Psalms because they give me such a rich prayer language. Today I read Psalm 11 above and realized that it is a perfect prescription for stress. Stress has been described as the body's involuntary response to perceived danger. The body instinctively prepares to flee or to fight when there is a threat, real or imagined.
The first verse of this Psalm talks about the Flight response. David says, "I am not going to yield to the temptation to escape life or to run from my problems. I am not going to let the threat of the moment cause me to shrink back from my destiny and purpose. I am trusting in God for the results as I face things head on.
The next verse describes the attack of the enemy. I see this as more than conflict with people; it describes the warfare in the mind. The devil lines up all kinds of negative, defeatist, and evil thinking to try to separate us from God and His plan for us.
Verse Three talks about the importance of staying centered on the foundational truth of the gospel: God loves me, God deserves to be praised and worshiped, God will never leave me, God has a plan for me, God requires obedience and forgiveness of others, God will love and forgive me even if I mess up. The entire warfare of the enemy of our souls is to get us off that foundation. When we entertain ideas of either our own prideful estimation or our rejection and failure, the enemy has us off our foundation and can attack us at will.
Verse Four talks about how the Lord is well aware of everything that we face and are going through. He allows what happens for our character development and dependence on Him. He is the master of "ultimate justice"--God is able to bring about total restoration and healing and the defeat of all our enemies, inside us and outside of us.
Verse Five embraces the other end of the stress response--the fight response. God hates violence and using physical or verbal violence to control or overwhelm others is something He works against. He will provide ultimate justice to those who pursue violence as a means of getting their way. Thankfully, He can also deliver the violent person from using violence and teach them to deal with stress by trusting on Him.
God's word is so practical. When we trust on Him fully, we are psychologically healthy and able to deal with life in a positive way. When we are in intimate fellowship with Him, He helps us to overcome our natural flight-or-fight tendencies to become proactive adults.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Trusting God For Real--(with the words!) New definition of success
Ps 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Ps 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Ps 37:5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
I am such a "to -do" list type of person. I like to take control of a problem and solve it and move on to the next. I get such a rush from accomplishment and achievement.
But this pro-active tendency of mine can really let me down. What happens when I fail? When a problem seems unsolvable or I don't know where to start? What if something really isn't my problem, even though I want to help and make it all better?
That is where Psalm 37 really sets me back on my heals. The whole thing is great--you should read it. In Psalm 37, God says, "Don't worry, I have your back." In fact, as I let the whole Psalm soak into me this morning, I realized that the only real thing a believer can actually "DO" on their list is to really Trust God!
In this Psalm, God describes the righteous person not as a powerful, super smart, capable individual that manages to work harder than everyone else and pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Just the opposite!
The righteous person in this Psalm is someone who doggedly trusts God every time something goes wrong--and a lot goes wrong!
The righteous person seems to have a knack for finding trouble, and seems to have little control over their destiny. And God seems to like it that way.
God seems determined to bless the person who KNOWS that life is beyond his control, and is determined to let God sort it all out. This Psalm is full of promises and blessings to the person who has no clue, and admits it freely to the Lord.
What struck me the most about this Psalm is the stark contrast between our strong will to be self-determined, the captain of our fate (even as Christians!) and that true believing is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!.
So much of my life is about getting myself in a better place, when God is saying, "Only I can get you in a better place--stop working on that and start working on trusting me. Get your focus off your plans and plan to focus on me!"
Then my success or failure is determined not by what I have done in a day, but how close to the Lord I was.
That is the type of success God can bless.
Ps 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Ps 37:5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
I am such a "to -do" list type of person. I like to take control of a problem and solve it and move on to the next. I get such a rush from accomplishment and achievement.
But this pro-active tendency of mine can really let me down. What happens when I fail? When a problem seems unsolvable or I don't know where to start? What if something really isn't my problem, even though I want to help and make it all better?
That is where Psalm 37 really sets me back on my heals. The whole thing is great--you should read it. In Psalm 37, God says, "Don't worry, I have your back." In fact, as I let the whole Psalm soak into me this morning, I realized that the only real thing a believer can actually "DO" on their list is to really Trust God!
In this Psalm, God describes the righteous person not as a powerful, super smart, capable individual that manages to work harder than everyone else and pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Just the opposite!
The righteous person in this Psalm is someone who doggedly trusts God every time something goes wrong--and a lot goes wrong!
The righteous person seems to have a knack for finding trouble, and seems to have little control over their destiny. And God seems to like it that way.
God seems determined to bless the person who KNOWS that life is beyond his control, and is determined to let God sort it all out. This Psalm is full of promises and blessings to the person who has no clue, and admits it freely to the Lord.
What struck me the most about this Psalm is the stark contrast between our strong will to be self-determined, the captain of our fate (even as Christians!) and that true believing is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!.
So much of my life is about getting myself in a better place, when God is saying, "Only I can get you in a better place--stop working on that and start working on trusting me. Get your focus off your plans and plan to focus on me!"
Then my success or failure is determined not by what I have done in a day, but how close to the Lord I was.
That is the type of success God can bless.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Stopping by the Garage Sales.
Today is the day my girls have been counting down to for weeks. Every year our block sets a date for a block sale. My girls save their money and go and blow a wad on my neighbors clothes,stuffed animals, polly pocket dolls and Barbie accessories. They make the rounds several times, chatting like eager Black Friday fanatics. They pre-shop each garage, then make several rounds back as their money dwindles and smaller items seem more valuable. They are not content until they blow the whole wad and make several trips back to fill the living room with their booty.
Aside from the avaricious nature of this activity, it seems the apple does not fall far from the tree I have planted in my life. On this day, while they were busy shopping,I found my opportunity. I greedily set out to conquer my to do list--jumping from task to task barely touching base with the equally busy girls.
As I finished mowing the lawn into a manicured state I'm sure it has never known, I felt satisfied with my accomplishments. But then I was immediately sad--it was time for the kids to go to bed. I missed them. I missed them most of the day and i had been in (or near) the same house with them.
It made me wonder how much more I will miss them when I am working full time.
I flashed ahead to the picture of Maddie standing near the screen door as I looked up from my laptop on the deck. She said, "I just stopped by . . . I'm going back out". It struck me that someday, sooner than I would like, she will say those same words and then drive away in her car. She will stop by and I will only be a stop in her day, like she stopped from garage sale to garage sale.
This is the thing I absolutely hate the most about not homeschooling--the demand for time on my day that I allow to squeeze out the most important things. Time with kids is the rarest commodity I have and the greatest commitment. I hate it when clouds of duty make me trade the best for the least important.
Already my kids are comfortable entertaining themselves. Already the life they have lived has gaping holes in it where I should have been--mentally and physically. Already, I am wishing I had done more garage sale shopping today.
Aside from the avaricious nature of this activity, it seems the apple does not fall far from the tree I have planted in my life. On this day, while they were busy shopping,I found my opportunity. I greedily set out to conquer my to do list--jumping from task to task barely touching base with the equally busy girls.
As I finished mowing the lawn into a manicured state I'm sure it has never known, I felt satisfied with my accomplishments. But then I was immediately sad--it was time for the kids to go to bed. I missed them. I missed them most of the day and i had been in (or near) the same house with them.
It made me wonder how much more I will miss them when I am working full time.
I flashed ahead to the picture of Maddie standing near the screen door as I looked up from my laptop on the deck. She said, "I just stopped by . . . I'm going back out". It struck me that someday, sooner than I would like, she will say those same words and then drive away in her car. She will stop by and I will only be a stop in her day, like she stopped from garage sale to garage sale.
This is the thing I absolutely hate the most about not homeschooling--the demand for time on my day that I allow to squeeze out the most important things. Time with kids is the rarest commodity I have and the greatest commitment. I hate it when clouds of duty make me trade the best for the least important.
Already my kids are comfortable entertaining themselves. Already the life they have lived has gaping holes in it where I should have been--mentally and physically. Already, I am wishing I had done more garage sale shopping today.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Dream-Crushing is the road to Passion
I went down to Michigan Works--the employment agency for our county. I wanted to get some pointers on how to look for a job and how to write resume's. The classes were taught by a really great instructor who also happens to be named Karen. She was animated and personable and had a lot of great ideas for conducting a job search. I could tell that she loves her job and likes to connect with her clients.
The thing that I discovered is that doing what you have a passion about is one way to be successful. I think the goal in job searching is finding the job that is so irresistible for you to do.You can get "a" job but will always struggle till you find what God made you to be.
At this same time of these job search classes, I am preparing a message for my fellow high-school and college graduates from church. I noticed a pattern in some of the greatest Bible characters, Joseph, Moses, and David. All three of them had a lot of promise in their youth and seemed poised for great success when life events caused them to fail or be cut down in some way. Unlike people like Joshua, Samuel and Daniel, who just seemed to fall into their roles right from their youth, Joseph, Moses and David had to overcome crushing events that seemed to end their dreams.
This dream-crushing made each of these men much more dependent on God. With Joseph and Moses, we can guess from the narrative and the events after their disappointment that they deepened their walk with God. David goes a step further. We can tell more about his relationship with God because he wrote many Psalms to address the issues he was facing. He learned that God was his protector, guide, and friend far beyond any circumstances he found himself in.
Tying these ideas together, I can see where dream-crushing (like my little homeschool-mom dream that fades as I look for work) is really a process God can use to reveal deeper passions. I feel like I am finding more concerns outside my little family as I pursue employment. Dreams that are small (like Joseph leading his family instead of the nation of Egypt; or David being the general of Saul's army instead of King) must be crushed to develop a deeper passion that is sustainable and far-reaching. Some dreams MUST die to make room for bigger and better ones.
I am not sure where my dreams and passions make take me in the coming months, but I want to be willing to let some dreams die, and let other passions be formed in me along the way.
The thing that I discovered is that doing what you have a passion about is one way to be successful. I think the goal in job searching is finding the job that is so irresistible for you to do.You can get "a" job but will always struggle till you find what God made you to be.
At this same time of these job search classes, I am preparing a message for my fellow high-school and college graduates from church. I noticed a pattern in some of the greatest Bible characters, Joseph, Moses, and David. All three of them had a lot of promise in their youth and seemed poised for great success when life events caused them to fail or be cut down in some way. Unlike people like Joshua, Samuel and Daniel, who just seemed to fall into their roles right from their youth, Joseph, Moses and David had to overcome crushing events that seemed to end their dreams.
This dream-crushing made each of these men much more dependent on God. With Joseph and Moses, we can guess from the narrative and the events after their disappointment that they deepened their walk with God. David goes a step further. We can tell more about his relationship with God because he wrote many Psalms to address the issues he was facing. He learned that God was his protector, guide, and friend far beyond any circumstances he found himself in.
Tying these ideas together, I can see where dream-crushing (like my little homeschool-mom dream that fades as I look for work) is really a process God can use to reveal deeper passions. I feel like I am finding more concerns outside my little family as I pursue employment. Dreams that are small (like Joseph leading his family instead of the nation of Egypt; or David being the general of Saul's army instead of King) must be crushed to develop a deeper passion that is sustainable and far-reaching. Some dreams MUST die to make room for bigger and better ones.
I am not sure where my dreams and passions make take me in the coming months, but I want to be willing to let some dreams die, and let other passions be formed in me along the way.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Learning Humility
Learning humility is essential. All God's greatest people--Moses, David, Joseph, learned humility for long periods of their lives before the real mission of their life's work got going. Moses, after a failed attempt at his destiny, settled for learning nation building by caring for stubborn sheep in the wilderness. David, after initial success in warfare, learned to rule a nation with honor by hiding in caves with criminals. Joseph who was a favored heir practiced his administration skills as a slave and a prisoner. Jonah had to go through the whale to get to Nineveh for a mass conversion. All paths to success have a "pride decontamination"process built in
I think of this because of the journey of the job search ahead of me, the humility of grades and homework that I have just completed and the humility of being my age and working in part-time retail.
How I handle the "now" of my current set of circumstances, however blessed or challenging they may be, determines how well the next set of circumstances will fit me. God is not interested in making me successful in general terms. His success is measured in terms of character and ability to love as He does. These success factors are independent of our salary, the toys we own or the size of our house.
So I must humble myself to look for what God is calling me to do next, even while I humbly practice demonstrating His nature on the current job I have. I need to treat the "now" circumstances like they are the "ideal" circumstances. I need to put my focus on being like Christ rather than my future.
If I don't go humbly, I won't go at all.
I think of this because of the journey of the job search ahead of me, the humility of grades and homework that I have just completed and the humility of being my age and working in part-time retail.
How I handle the "now" of my current set of circumstances, however blessed or challenging they may be, determines how well the next set of circumstances will fit me. God is not interested in making me successful in general terms. His success is measured in terms of character and ability to love as He does. These success factors are independent of our salary, the toys we own or the size of our house.
So I must humble myself to look for what God is calling me to do next, even while I humbly practice demonstrating His nature on the current job I have. I need to treat the "now" circumstances like they are the "ideal" circumstances. I need to put my focus on being like Christ rather than my future.
If I don't go humbly, I won't go at all.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
The Let Down
So today I am feeling the "let down". After achieving a big goal like graduating from college, I have drifted into the "now what?" stage of goal achievement. As I run into more people who congratulate me on my recent bachelor's degree, I have a strange emptiness, a hollowness to the responses I give to these well-wishers.
Having so much of my life filled with the homework, the anxiety over grades and the pressure of due dates, I am feeling a little lost in my free time. I still have my kids, and my home and my husband to tend to, but the over arching pressure of school is gone, making me feel like a boat without a motor.
I know that in time the new routines will form, the new priorities of the job search and activities with the kids will renew that sense of purpose, but for now, I am just letting myself feel lost as I recover from achievement.
We don't often think or talk about the "let down" phase of goal-setting, but it is real and it makes us evaluate ourselves in a broader scope. "Was it worth it?" we ask. "What do I do now?" and "Where should I be spending my time and energy?". Transitioning from a big goal to the next can be frightening. We all know a disappointing circumstance, like a death, losing a job, or financial loss, requires a big adjustment in our thought and emotional life. But success in reaching a big goal requires an adjustment as well. Coping with success can be difficult too.
What has helped me so far in dealing with this transition is to be with and talk with family and friends who can help me stay aware of who I am and point me to the reasons I went back to college in the first place.
I have also been helped by meditating on scripture--which remains poignant and stabilizing whether I am successful or in dire straights. One new favorite I am committing to memory--Gal. 2:20-I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me and the life I live in the flesh I live in faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.
This verse sums up the ultimate goal--to live in Christ, whether I am charging up a mountain of a goal, or sliding down the other side.
Having so much of my life filled with the homework, the anxiety over grades and the pressure of due dates, I am feeling a little lost in my free time. I still have my kids, and my home and my husband to tend to, but the over arching pressure of school is gone, making me feel like a boat without a motor.
I know that in time the new routines will form, the new priorities of the job search and activities with the kids will renew that sense of purpose, but for now, I am just letting myself feel lost as I recover from achievement.
We don't often think or talk about the "let down" phase of goal-setting, but it is real and it makes us evaluate ourselves in a broader scope. "Was it worth it?" we ask. "What do I do now?" and "Where should I be spending my time and energy?". Transitioning from a big goal to the next can be frightening. We all know a disappointing circumstance, like a death, losing a job, or financial loss, requires a big adjustment in our thought and emotional life. But success in reaching a big goal requires an adjustment as well. Coping with success can be difficult too.
What has helped me so far in dealing with this transition is to be with and talk with family and friends who can help me stay aware of who I am and point me to the reasons I went back to college in the first place.
I have also been helped by meditating on scripture--which remains poignant and stabilizing whether I am successful or in dire straights. One new favorite I am committing to memory--Gal. 2:20-I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me and the life I live in the flesh I live in faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.
This verse sums up the ultimate goal--to live in Christ, whether I am charging up a mountain of a goal, or sliding down the other side.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Getting back to life after school
I have not written since I decided to go back to school. That was three years ago and I have to say that I really miss writing for fun. So now I can go back to just putting thoughts on paper without worrying about APA format or if I have enough citations for my work. This should be refreshing.
I want to get you up to date: I have graduated with a degree in Business Administration. It was a long hard road--first I finished my Associate's degree at Grand Rapids Community College. Then I transferred to Cornerstone University for my Bachelors. I loved the experience and the challenge, though I wonder what cost my family paid while I was doing this.
The thing I gave up that I loved was homeschooling. I transferred the education of my children to my Mom to homeschool them. I regret not being the one they learned from. But I am so grateful for my Mom's willingness to teach them in their tenderest years. I love that they have the special relationship with my Mom that they have.
I am seeking the Lord for what is next. I will be brushing up my resume' and seeking full time work. My goal is to not be a trucker's wife and one large piece of the puzzle is now complete. I am excited to see what God will do next.
I want to get you up to date: I have graduated with a degree in Business Administration. It was a long hard road--first I finished my Associate's degree at Grand Rapids Community College. Then I transferred to Cornerstone University for my Bachelors. I loved the experience and the challenge, though I wonder what cost my family paid while I was doing this.
The thing I gave up that I loved was homeschooling. I transferred the education of my children to my Mom to homeschool them. I regret not being the one they learned from. But I am so grateful for my Mom's willingness to teach them in their tenderest years. I love that they have the special relationship with my Mom that they have.
I am seeking the Lord for what is next. I will be brushing up my resume' and seeking full time work. My goal is to not be a trucker's wife and one large piece of the puzzle is now complete. I am excited to see what God will do next.
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