Ps 37:3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Ps 37:4 Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Ps 37:5 Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
I am such a "to -do" list type of person. I like to take control of a problem and solve it and move on to the next. I get such a rush from accomplishment and achievement.
But this pro-active tendency of mine can really let me down. What happens when I fail? When a problem seems unsolvable or I don't know where to start? What if something really isn't my problem, even though I want to help and make it all better?
That is where Psalm 37 really sets me back on my heals. The whole thing is great--you should read it. In Psalm 37, God says, "Don't worry, I have your back." In fact, as I let the whole Psalm soak into me this morning, I realized that the only real thing a believer can actually "DO" on their list is to really Trust God!
In this Psalm, God describes the righteous person not as a powerful, super smart, capable individual that manages to work harder than everyone else and pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Just the opposite!
The righteous person in this Psalm is someone who doggedly trusts God every time something goes wrong--and a lot goes wrong!
The righteous person seems to have a knack for finding trouble, and seems to have little control over their destiny. And God seems to like it that way.
God seems determined to bless the person who KNOWS that life is beyond his control, and is determined to let God sort it all out. This Psalm is full of promises and blessings to the person who has no clue, and admits it freely to the Lord.
What struck me the most about this Psalm is the stark contrast between our strong will to be self-determined, the captain of our fate (even as Christians!) and that true believing is EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE!.
So much of my life is about getting myself in a better place, when God is saying, "Only I can get you in a better place--stop working on that and start working on trusting me. Get your focus off your plans and plan to focus on me!"
Then my success or failure is determined not by what I have done in a day, but how close to the Lord I was.
That is the type of success God can bless.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Stopping by the Garage Sales.
Today is the day my girls have been counting down to for weeks. Every year our block sets a date for a block sale. My girls save their money and go and blow a wad on my neighbors clothes,stuffed animals, polly pocket dolls and Barbie accessories. They make the rounds several times, chatting like eager Black Friday fanatics. They pre-shop each garage, then make several rounds back as their money dwindles and smaller items seem more valuable. They are not content until they blow the whole wad and make several trips back to fill the living room with their booty.
Aside from the avaricious nature of this activity, it seems the apple does not fall far from the tree I have planted in my life. On this day, while they were busy shopping,I found my opportunity. I greedily set out to conquer my to do list--jumping from task to task barely touching base with the equally busy girls.
As I finished mowing the lawn into a manicured state I'm sure it has never known, I felt satisfied with my accomplishments. But then I was immediately sad--it was time for the kids to go to bed. I missed them. I missed them most of the day and i had been in (or near) the same house with them.
It made me wonder how much more I will miss them when I am working full time.
I flashed ahead to the picture of Maddie standing near the screen door as I looked up from my laptop on the deck. She said, "I just stopped by . . . I'm going back out". It struck me that someday, sooner than I would like, she will say those same words and then drive away in her car. She will stop by and I will only be a stop in her day, like she stopped from garage sale to garage sale.
This is the thing I absolutely hate the most about not homeschooling--the demand for time on my day that I allow to squeeze out the most important things. Time with kids is the rarest commodity I have and the greatest commitment. I hate it when clouds of duty make me trade the best for the least important.
Already my kids are comfortable entertaining themselves. Already the life they have lived has gaping holes in it where I should have been--mentally and physically. Already, I am wishing I had done more garage sale shopping today.
Aside from the avaricious nature of this activity, it seems the apple does not fall far from the tree I have planted in my life. On this day, while they were busy shopping,I found my opportunity. I greedily set out to conquer my to do list--jumping from task to task barely touching base with the equally busy girls.
As I finished mowing the lawn into a manicured state I'm sure it has never known, I felt satisfied with my accomplishments. But then I was immediately sad--it was time for the kids to go to bed. I missed them. I missed them most of the day and i had been in (or near) the same house with them.
It made me wonder how much more I will miss them when I am working full time.
I flashed ahead to the picture of Maddie standing near the screen door as I looked up from my laptop on the deck. She said, "I just stopped by . . . I'm going back out". It struck me that someday, sooner than I would like, she will say those same words and then drive away in her car. She will stop by and I will only be a stop in her day, like she stopped from garage sale to garage sale.
This is the thing I absolutely hate the most about not homeschooling--the demand for time on my day that I allow to squeeze out the most important things. Time with kids is the rarest commodity I have and the greatest commitment. I hate it when clouds of duty make me trade the best for the least important.
Already my kids are comfortable entertaining themselves. Already the life they have lived has gaping holes in it where I should have been--mentally and physically. Already, I am wishing I had done more garage sale shopping today.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Dream-Crushing is the road to Passion
I went down to Michigan Works--the employment agency for our county. I wanted to get some pointers on how to look for a job and how to write resume's. The classes were taught by a really great instructor who also happens to be named Karen. She was animated and personable and had a lot of great ideas for conducting a job search. I could tell that she loves her job and likes to connect with her clients.
The thing that I discovered is that doing what you have a passion about is one way to be successful. I think the goal in job searching is finding the job that is so irresistible for you to do.You can get "a" job but will always struggle till you find what God made you to be.
At this same time of these job search classes, I am preparing a message for my fellow high-school and college graduates from church. I noticed a pattern in some of the greatest Bible characters, Joseph, Moses, and David. All three of them had a lot of promise in their youth and seemed poised for great success when life events caused them to fail or be cut down in some way. Unlike people like Joshua, Samuel and Daniel, who just seemed to fall into their roles right from their youth, Joseph, Moses and David had to overcome crushing events that seemed to end their dreams.
This dream-crushing made each of these men much more dependent on God. With Joseph and Moses, we can guess from the narrative and the events after their disappointment that they deepened their walk with God. David goes a step further. We can tell more about his relationship with God because he wrote many Psalms to address the issues he was facing. He learned that God was his protector, guide, and friend far beyond any circumstances he found himself in.
Tying these ideas together, I can see where dream-crushing (like my little homeschool-mom dream that fades as I look for work) is really a process God can use to reveal deeper passions. I feel like I am finding more concerns outside my little family as I pursue employment. Dreams that are small (like Joseph leading his family instead of the nation of Egypt; or David being the general of Saul's army instead of King) must be crushed to develop a deeper passion that is sustainable and far-reaching. Some dreams MUST die to make room for bigger and better ones.
I am not sure where my dreams and passions make take me in the coming months, but I want to be willing to let some dreams die, and let other passions be formed in me along the way.
The thing that I discovered is that doing what you have a passion about is one way to be successful. I think the goal in job searching is finding the job that is so irresistible for you to do.You can get "a" job but will always struggle till you find what God made you to be.
At this same time of these job search classes, I am preparing a message for my fellow high-school and college graduates from church. I noticed a pattern in some of the greatest Bible characters, Joseph, Moses, and David. All three of them had a lot of promise in their youth and seemed poised for great success when life events caused them to fail or be cut down in some way. Unlike people like Joshua, Samuel and Daniel, who just seemed to fall into their roles right from their youth, Joseph, Moses and David had to overcome crushing events that seemed to end their dreams.
This dream-crushing made each of these men much more dependent on God. With Joseph and Moses, we can guess from the narrative and the events after their disappointment that they deepened their walk with God. David goes a step further. We can tell more about his relationship with God because he wrote many Psalms to address the issues he was facing. He learned that God was his protector, guide, and friend far beyond any circumstances he found himself in.
Tying these ideas together, I can see where dream-crushing (like my little homeschool-mom dream that fades as I look for work) is really a process God can use to reveal deeper passions. I feel like I am finding more concerns outside my little family as I pursue employment. Dreams that are small (like Joseph leading his family instead of the nation of Egypt; or David being the general of Saul's army instead of King) must be crushed to develop a deeper passion that is sustainable and far-reaching. Some dreams MUST die to make room for bigger and better ones.
I am not sure where my dreams and passions make take me in the coming months, but I want to be willing to let some dreams die, and let other passions be formed in me along the way.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Learning Humility
Learning humility is essential. All God's greatest people--Moses, David, Joseph, learned humility for long periods of their lives before the real mission of their life's work got going. Moses, after a failed attempt at his destiny, settled for learning nation building by caring for stubborn sheep in the wilderness. David, after initial success in warfare, learned to rule a nation with honor by hiding in caves with criminals. Joseph who was a favored heir practiced his administration skills as a slave and a prisoner. Jonah had to go through the whale to get to Nineveh for a mass conversion. All paths to success have a "pride decontamination"process built in
I think of this because of the journey of the job search ahead of me, the humility of grades and homework that I have just completed and the humility of being my age and working in part-time retail.
How I handle the "now" of my current set of circumstances, however blessed or challenging they may be, determines how well the next set of circumstances will fit me. God is not interested in making me successful in general terms. His success is measured in terms of character and ability to love as He does. These success factors are independent of our salary, the toys we own or the size of our house.
So I must humble myself to look for what God is calling me to do next, even while I humbly practice demonstrating His nature on the current job I have. I need to treat the "now" circumstances like they are the "ideal" circumstances. I need to put my focus on being like Christ rather than my future.
If I don't go humbly, I won't go at all.
I think of this because of the journey of the job search ahead of me, the humility of grades and homework that I have just completed and the humility of being my age and working in part-time retail.
How I handle the "now" of my current set of circumstances, however blessed or challenging they may be, determines how well the next set of circumstances will fit me. God is not interested in making me successful in general terms. His success is measured in terms of character and ability to love as He does. These success factors are independent of our salary, the toys we own or the size of our house.
So I must humble myself to look for what God is calling me to do next, even while I humbly practice demonstrating His nature on the current job I have. I need to treat the "now" circumstances like they are the "ideal" circumstances. I need to put my focus on being like Christ rather than my future.
If I don't go humbly, I won't go at all.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
The Let Down
So today I am feeling the "let down". After achieving a big goal like graduating from college, I have drifted into the "now what?" stage of goal achievement. As I run into more people who congratulate me on my recent bachelor's degree, I have a strange emptiness, a hollowness to the responses I give to these well-wishers.
Having so much of my life filled with the homework, the anxiety over grades and the pressure of due dates, I am feeling a little lost in my free time. I still have my kids, and my home and my husband to tend to, but the over arching pressure of school is gone, making me feel like a boat without a motor.
I know that in time the new routines will form, the new priorities of the job search and activities with the kids will renew that sense of purpose, but for now, I am just letting myself feel lost as I recover from achievement.
We don't often think or talk about the "let down" phase of goal-setting, but it is real and it makes us evaluate ourselves in a broader scope. "Was it worth it?" we ask. "What do I do now?" and "Where should I be spending my time and energy?". Transitioning from a big goal to the next can be frightening. We all know a disappointing circumstance, like a death, losing a job, or financial loss, requires a big adjustment in our thought and emotional life. But success in reaching a big goal requires an adjustment as well. Coping with success can be difficult too.
What has helped me so far in dealing with this transition is to be with and talk with family and friends who can help me stay aware of who I am and point me to the reasons I went back to college in the first place.
I have also been helped by meditating on scripture--which remains poignant and stabilizing whether I am successful or in dire straights. One new favorite I am committing to memory--Gal. 2:20-I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me and the life I live in the flesh I live in faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.
This verse sums up the ultimate goal--to live in Christ, whether I am charging up a mountain of a goal, or sliding down the other side.
Having so much of my life filled with the homework, the anxiety over grades and the pressure of due dates, I am feeling a little lost in my free time. I still have my kids, and my home and my husband to tend to, but the over arching pressure of school is gone, making me feel like a boat without a motor.
I know that in time the new routines will form, the new priorities of the job search and activities with the kids will renew that sense of purpose, but for now, I am just letting myself feel lost as I recover from achievement.
We don't often think or talk about the "let down" phase of goal-setting, but it is real and it makes us evaluate ourselves in a broader scope. "Was it worth it?" we ask. "What do I do now?" and "Where should I be spending my time and energy?". Transitioning from a big goal to the next can be frightening. We all know a disappointing circumstance, like a death, losing a job, or financial loss, requires a big adjustment in our thought and emotional life. But success in reaching a big goal requires an adjustment as well. Coping with success can be difficult too.
What has helped me so far in dealing with this transition is to be with and talk with family and friends who can help me stay aware of who I am and point me to the reasons I went back to college in the first place.
I have also been helped by meditating on scripture--which remains poignant and stabilizing whether I am successful or in dire straights. One new favorite I am committing to memory--Gal. 2:20-I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless, I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me and the life I live in the flesh I live in faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.
This verse sums up the ultimate goal--to live in Christ, whether I am charging up a mountain of a goal, or sliding down the other side.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Getting back to life after school
I have not written since I decided to go back to school. That was three years ago and I have to say that I really miss writing for fun. So now I can go back to just putting thoughts on paper without worrying about APA format or if I have enough citations for my work. This should be refreshing.
I want to get you up to date: I have graduated with a degree in Business Administration. It was a long hard road--first I finished my Associate's degree at Grand Rapids Community College. Then I transferred to Cornerstone University for my Bachelors. I loved the experience and the challenge, though I wonder what cost my family paid while I was doing this.
The thing I gave up that I loved was homeschooling. I transferred the education of my children to my Mom to homeschool them. I regret not being the one they learned from. But I am so grateful for my Mom's willingness to teach them in their tenderest years. I love that they have the special relationship with my Mom that they have.
I am seeking the Lord for what is next. I will be brushing up my resume' and seeking full time work. My goal is to not be a trucker's wife and one large piece of the puzzle is now complete. I am excited to see what God will do next.
I want to get you up to date: I have graduated with a degree in Business Administration. It was a long hard road--first I finished my Associate's degree at Grand Rapids Community College. Then I transferred to Cornerstone University for my Bachelors. I loved the experience and the challenge, though I wonder what cost my family paid while I was doing this.
The thing I gave up that I loved was homeschooling. I transferred the education of my children to my Mom to homeschool them. I regret not being the one they learned from. But I am so grateful for my Mom's willingness to teach them in their tenderest years. I love that they have the special relationship with my Mom that they have.
I am seeking the Lord for what is next. I will be brushing up my resume' and seeking full time work. My goal is to not be a trucker's wife and one large piece of the puzzle is now complete. I am excited to see what God will do next.
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